Wednesday, July 07, 2004
Vulnerability and Heartache
I just reread Dietchick's latest post and my heart is hurting.
Sometimes it's much easier to just say, "Life Sucks!", than, "If not this, something better."
So why am I so affected by the goings on of someone I don't even know? Because there are so many of the same emotions that I do know.
Maybe I have too much time to think now? That tends to happen when one does not opt to "numb out" nearly as often.
So ... I have been thinking about Jamaica Man and me too. We've had a nice little "love affair", but I'm really wondering how much longer that can go on. I feel that we are on very different levels emotionally. The man is two years out of a thirty-two year marriage. 'Remembering back to where I was, two years out of a marriage with far less history ... it's a long healing process. Eighteen years and various types of relationships later, I finally feel like I am ready to risk that vulnerability once again, and I would like it to be on a little deeper level.
I just reread Dietchick's latest post and my heart is hurting.
Sometimes it's much easier to just say, "Life Sucks!", than, "If not this, something better."
So why am I so affected by the goings on of someone I don't even know? Because there are so many of the same emotions that I do know.
Maybe I have too much time to think now? That tends to happen when one does not opt to "numb out" nearly as often.
So ... I have been thinking about Jamaica Man and me too. We've had a nice little "love affair", but I'm really wondering how much longer that can go on. I feel that we are on very different levels emotionally. The man is two years out of a thirty-two year marriage. 'Remembering back to where I was, two years out of a marriage with far less history ... it's a long healing process. Eighteen years and various types of relationships later, I finally feel like I am ready to risk that vulnerability once again, and I would like it to be on a little deeper level.
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