Thursday, July 01, 2004
Adaptation
We spend so much of our lives in the "if only" stage, that once some of those things come to be, it leaves one a bit disoriented ... at least temporarily.
So today is my day off. Tomorrow, I will wake up Main Man at 7:30 AM and send him off to camp by 8:30 AM. When he returns at 4:30 PM, he will leave with his parents for the country house, along with the dog, and they will return sometime on Monday. I cannot complain in the least about not having plenty of free time.
Yesterday I walked, then spent the morning bookstore shopping. My purchases included Montana magazine, Spirituality and Health magazine, Everyday Food magazine, The Book of Caribbean Cooking , Jerk Barbecue from Jamaica, and The Fine Art of Erotic Talk. I then treated myself to lunch at Hunan Village. The day was reminiscent of my old days working in the school district, when school was out and the schedule lightened considerably. As much as one dreams of a job where such is possible, it is still a bit hard to realize when one has manifest such. Perhaps that had something to do with my "kitchen binge" last PM? Well, not just the job part, but also the fact that my whole life is basically going very well ... a nice man, a good sex life, plenty of time to walk and eat properly, de-clutter, etc., etc. Lots of changes, albeit for the better, but still change ... sometimes, a bit of the old familiar just needs to sneak back in ... temporarily.
I am being gentle with myself today. So far, I have not even left my space. I have not walked, and if I do not, that is OK for today. I haven't eaten anything either ... I guess maybe last night has carried over? I will go down to spend the evening with Jamaica Man, as usual, and my prequel to that is usually a nice, relaxing bath and a manicure.
So now, it's all about learning to adapt to this new life I've created.
PS ... 26 years ago today was my wedding day ... hmmmm ... all the more reason to have a "gentle" day.
We spend so much of our lives in the "if only" stage, that once some of those things come to be, it leaves one a bit disoriented ... at least temporarily.
So today is my day off. Tomorrow, I will wake up Main Man at 7:30 AM and send him off to camp by 8:30 AM. When he returns at 4:30 PM, he will leave with his parents for the country house, along with the dog, and they will return sometime on Monday. I cannot complain in the least about not having plenty of free time.
Yesterday I walked, then spent the morning bookstore shopping. My purchases included Montana magazine, Spirituality and Health magazine, Everyday Food magazine, The Book of Caribbean Cooking , Jerk Barbecue from Jamaica, and The Fine Art of Erotic Talk. I then treated myself to lunch at Hunan Village. The day was reminiscent of my old days working in the school district, when school was out and the schedule lightened considerably. As much as one dreams of a job where such is possible, it is still a bit hard to realize when one has manifest such. Perhaps that had something to do with my "kitchen binge" last PM? Well, not just the job part, but also the fact that my whole life is basically going very well ... a nice man, a good sex life, plenty of time to walk and eat properly, de-clutter, etc., etc. Lots of changes, albeit for the better, but still change ... sometimes, a bit of the old familiar just needs to sneak back in ... temporarily.
I am being gentle with myself today. So far, I have not even left my space. I have not walked, and if I do not, that is OK for today. I haven't eaten anything either ... I guess maybe last night has carried over? I will go down to spend the evening with Jamaica Man, as usual, and my prequel to that is usually a nice, relaxing bath and a manicure.
So now, it's all about learning to adapt to this new life I've created.
PS ... 26 years ago today was my wedding day ... hmmmm ... all the more reason to have a "gentle" day.
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